My name is Brian Hanner. I’m a musician, a yoga teacher, a math teacher, a boyfriend, an ex-husband (twice), a brother, a son, an uncle . . . and I’m none of these things. I have allowed my life to be defined by all of these labels and so many more. More than I can count.
And none of them matter at all.
You see, I have spent nearly 45 years as one of the silent masses moving through life sleep-walking. No direction, no aspirations.
Actually, all of that is bullshit too. In spite of having some image that I am just a faceless no one, I have hopes, dreams, passions, and ideas that might revolutionize the world. And I’m scared to death that I’m right. And I’m even more terrified that I’ll unleash my revolution on the world and no one will give a shit.
And that’s the thing that keeps me stuck. Keeps me unhappy. Discontented. Numb. Trapped.
Fear. Plain and simple.
I’ve thought about writing a blog for a while now. And the conversation goes like this:
“Maybe I’ll write a blog. I have cool things to share. I’ve seen some shit. I’ve lived a life.”
“No one will read it. No one will care. In fact, you may get criticized. Your friends and family will read it and ask questions that make you doubt your value as a human. Best go have some ice cream. You like ice cream. And eat the whole thing in one sitting. You’ll feel better.”
Comfortably numb. Thank you, Roger Waters, for that phrase.
So, here’s my crazy, charmed life with all of its triumphs, disasters, and messy shit. And it just gets crazier every day.