The Wisdom of Falling Apart
Get it together!
I've said or heard this phrase more times than I can count.
It might be one of the least helpful things I hear.
It makes the assumption that I don't have my shit together. Maybe I don't. It implies that there is something to get together, some tangible problem to solve, and hopefully some solution to the problem.
Why do I have to get it together? If I'm constantly late for work, to the point of possibly losing my job, then maybe there is something to address. If my mom is in the hospital with a life-threatening illness, what part of this situation should I "get together"?
Make a Mess
Life is messy.
It's supposed to be messy. This how we learn and grow. There are many components to creating a happy life, but one thing that often gets overlooked is the need for growth. This probably doesn't mean changing jobs every three years or leaving your spouse just because you don't feel "in love". What it does mean is this: are we moving forward in our personal evolution? Human beings, at every level, either grow or atrophy. This is true for the physical body (exercise is a constant necessity for a healthy body) and for the mental, emotional, and spiritual domains as well. To be happy, we must keep moving forward.
Roll With It
Life moves in cycles.
There will be times when we feel like we have it together. We get enough sleep, the demands of work life are manageable, our family is healthy, our relationships are smooth. There will be other times when it seems like life is coming apart at the seams. I've been in this phase for the last few months. I've lost 3 different jobs and had a 2+ year relationship end. It's the messy phase. Very messy. I also know the pendulum will swing back.
Some days I want to feel like I have it together, and some days I'm content to just sit in the mud puddle that is my messy life.
When we spend too much time getting it together, we might miss something amazing that looks a little messy on the surface. Imagine a messy kitchen after hosting a holiday party. Was the party worth the mess? Or course. Is there a mess to clean up? Of course. We can't have one without the other.
So, let it be a little messy, and get it together when the time comes. When someone says, "Get it together," maybe a good response is, "Sometime soon, but not right now."